Sunday, May 20, 2012

Have You Seen Your Mom Since Giving Her 50 Shades of Grey for Mother's Day?

I know a lot of you out there gave your mothers Fifty Shades of Grey for Mother's Day. Maybe you even gave her the whole trilogy, including Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed.

I don't understand why you did it. But you did. Publisher's Weekly says you did:

According to BookScan, sales of Fifty Shades of Grey jumped 40% in the week before Mother’s Day compared to the earlier week, selling almost 443,000 copies....Sales of the second title, Fifty Shades Darker, increased 30% over the prior week, with the book selling about 210,000 copies for a total of approximately 682,000 trade paperback copies. Fifty Shades Freed almost kept pace with Darker, as its sales rose 29% in Mother’s Day week over the previous week, selling 180,000 copies

The Bookstore Cat can vouch for selling around 700 copies during the week leading up to Mother's Day.

Yes, a lot of those sales were people buying the books for themselves or for a friend. But a lot of you did actually buy this for your Mom. You heard her say she wanted to read it. You heard her friends tell she "had to read it." You saw lots of women your Mom's age reading it . Maybe you saw the author's picture in the newspaper and thought she looked like a sweet, wholesome woman.

You just wanted to be a thoughtful son or daughter. You heard the buzz about the book without necessarily understanding. Despite all the attention it's been getting, many people don't seem to really know what they're getting into. Women come into the store with questions like "Have you heard anything about it?" or "My friends say I have to read it, do you know what it's about?"

Women of all ages. Plenty of women in their 70s and 80s have come in with the same questions, and walked out with their copies. One man mentioned that both his wife and 14 year old daughter were reading it. He picked up a copy, thumbed through a few random pages, then suddenly blanched and backed away.

Perhaps by now you realize that what you gave your dear mother was sado-masochistic porn, a relentless grind of unending orgasms. Not that there's anything wrong with her reading it, but do you think it should have come from YOU?

Well, it's now been one week since Mother's Day, and I'm wondering: Have you seen Mom since then? Perhaps she hasn't been around so much, or hasn't returned your calls. Maybe she's seemed really, really busy? Or if you have seen her, has she seemed at all...different? Maybe she's been doing some online shopping?

Is the spatula still in the kitchen?

And are you still planning to give Dad a necktie for Father's Day?

BONUS: Here's a picture of author E. L. James signing books at the Bookstore Cat's store a few weeks ago:



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